I wouldn’t consider myself a star singer by any stretch of the imagination, but I can hold a note and I have great timing…. Most importantly though, I LOVE TO SING.

For the past three months I’ve been attending a local “Open Stage”.  This is where you can bring your guitar and you have the stage for about 15 minutes to do whatever you want.  I’ve got a ton of experience as a guitarist and a back up singer, but I’ve never pretended to be the center of attention.  After three months of this, I’m still just as nervous as when I started.

Some people ask me why I do it.

It’s simple.  Because if you are comfortable you are NOT growing.  Every time I get up there on stage I become more comfortable in my own skin.  I feel more outgoing.  I feel more valued.  I feel more liked.  I guess you could say I’m gaining more confidence.  They say that you gain confidence through surviving the attempt.  At times, I certainly would describe my shenanigans as an “attempt”, but regardless of whether I think I did awesome, or whether I think I bombed.  I still get encouragement and applause.  Nothing feels better than being accepted.

When I first started playing on stage years ago, I remember being so worried about the mistakes that I make.  I was told a simple thing.  “The audience wants you to succeed!”  They aren’t there to watch you fail.  They want to be entertained and inspired.  Your job is to use their positive energy and have fun!

I was speaking with an old friend of mine recently who is just getting started in building his business. He told me of an unfortunate encounter that he had with an acquaintance of his. He has an established relationship with this person and has helped him in the past, but when he asked for this “friend’s” support in his new venture, this person flat out told my friend that he doesn’t trust him.

I admit that I was a little shocked by this. Of course trust is very important in business, and we typically teach that your most reliable source of trustworthy relationships are your current (and past) friends. So then, why is this person unwilling to put his trust in someone who has helped him in the past?

To answer this question, I went searching for some information about what trust is. Here’s what I found.

There are three dimensions of trustworthy behavior: Ability, Integrity and Benevolence.

Ability is simple. It is an assessment of your skills or knowledge that would give a person the confidence in your competency.

Integrity is a more of a subjective thing. It is whether the trustee adheres to principles that are acceptable to the trustor.

Benevolence is whether the trustor believes that the trustee has his best interest in mind.

With these things in mind, we can easily see that relationships may not be beneficial to trust. It all depends on your reputation with the trustor. It is possible that either of these three dimensions can have an impact on whether you generate the sale or not.

So what can we do?

Of course, the past is the past. There is nothing we can do to change that. However, it is possible to rebuild trust. Keep these three principles in mind with every action you take. If you can have the other person’s interest in mind, perform each task with integrity and to the best of your ability, then you are well on your way to successful business (and personal) transactions.